Summer Sucks

I have in the past rarely said a good word about this time of the year, why change a habit of a lifetime? I am a fetching shade of brown admittedly, if I had a full size mirror I would definitely do me at least three times a day and double that on Sundays. Unfortunately the heat is suffocating, getting to sleep at night without tossing and turning is a distant memory. I have also noticed I dribble a lot more when I sleep now, I'm dripping from every orifice be it sweat from my shiny head or saliva from my gob. Attractive.

Anyone else noticed the size of the gnats this year? No longer those pissy little things that you can't hit with a rolled up magazine because they are barely visible sitting on the ceiling, these guys are taller and wider than anyone in your household and unless you submit they will just smash the life out of you. I thought the faint buzzing noise at night was an irritation, well this year they're pacing about at the end of my bed. The floor trembles and I find myself closing my eyes and thinking of England. They can't be beaten, they will take your blood and they will tell their friends you're the 'Street Bitch'. The bites that are left are the itchiest thing since that time you ordered cream through an online pharmacy to save yourself the embarrassment. They also happen to swell up to quite a size and leave you feeling like a lumpy balloon, this is not the look you are after when it's the time of year you show the most flesh.

I don't know if it's my height but it feels terribly close this summer, yes that's the terminology I shall be using. There is no air, I have removed as many items of clothing during the day that I can get away with without a court case on my hands and at night I am as naked as the day I was born. Neither are helping, I lay still thinking that might improve the situation but instead it just makes the beads of sweat running over my body all the more noticeable.

So different year and same moan from me, Mr Tribe. I'm hot.