It's often the case that if you are the sort of person who needs to use a chat up line, you're also the sort of person that's a prick. Who needs personality when good looks and a cheesy chat up line will do the job? The following are chat up lines that will not end in success, do not use them. If you hear these lines and you feel a tingle in your downstairs department then you are wrong on many levels, but the sex might be good so just dive in and accept that this won't move on further than them leaving before you wake up.
1. Grab your coat, you'll need that to wipe yourself down with after.
2. Are you visiting from heaven? Because you look like you've fallen from a great height.
3. What's a nice girl/guy doing in a place like this? When I could be fisting you over the kitchen sink.
4. Do you have a license, because you're driving me crazy. I stab people when I go crazy.
5. What if I told you you could be coming home with me tonight and that I like anal?
6. I noticed you walking like a crab tonight, and assumed you're a slut.
7. I think we should have kids, you look like a mum. Actually you look like my mum.
8. I just wanted to come over and say you're beautiful, unfortunately now I'm closer and you're standing under the spotlight it has become apparent you are hideous. If we both don't pull tonight fancy coming home with me?
9. I've got an itch, did we sleep together last night?
10. Will you marry me?
A cynical look at the world
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