Top 5: Ways to deal with a co-worker who you can't stand.

Most people work, some of them enjoy their job and there are those who dread each day due to that absolute twat who thinks they're really funny but in reality doesn't get one genuine laugh out of anyone in the room. They don't just have the personality of a sponge with a smiley face drawn on it but they also do very little at work and are often not even noticed be they there or on annual leave. They think the opposite and believe they keep the show afloat in terms of work and morale. They need to be dealt with, I have some ideas.

1. Punch them, violence solves nothing but fuck me it'll make you feel so much better.

2. Make their tea, no good cup of tea is complete without the water being sqeezed through that dirty rag that's being sitting in the staff kitchen for as long as you've been working there. And you've been working there at least 10 years.

3. Pull them, if there is the slimmest chance they are attracted to you (they already think you're attracted to them) then why not make them fall in love with you? After 6 months get engaged, let them think you're their world and then jilt them at the alter. A lot of work but you'll wipe that smug smile off their face once and for all

4. Big them up to the boss, yourself and your co-workers should make this chap/lady out to be the very reason the company still makes money (just as they tell you they do). Really root for a promotion, on the day of their promotion run them over. Job done.

5. Tie their shoe laces together while they're sitting down and unaware, this works best if they're job is one that doesn't involve them carrying sharp objects or tending to those in need. Pricks in the office falling over and getting a black eye- Funny, A nurse who happens to stand as they remove a gentleman's catheter-Wrong.