Social networking is to some what eating and breathing is, a subconscious use of an online service that reminds you when your friends and families' birthdays occur. It's great for stalking ex partners, would be partners and current partners. It's a fantastic place to slap photos that you have no intention of printing off and sharing in the real world. You can 'like' rolls of countless pages and dislike NOTHING because in the world of Facebook everything is perfect and lovely. You can make a complete arsehole of yourself though and lose the real world friendship of many while they remain online friends to lure you into a false sense of security. The following are things you shouldn't really put on there and things no-one actually gives a shit about.
1. What you're doing, if what you're doing happens to be absolute balls. No-one wants to read you've fed the cat or gone for a walk. People do want to read that you fed the cat human remains or went for a walk and got flashed at.
2. Making a profile for your baby or pet, congratulations of pushing that out of lady bits (the baby not the pet) and people are happy enough to see the odd photo of your latest addition to the household be it human or animal but when you're creating a profile for them really sit and think while you type out their 'interests' and their current job. Do you feel silly yet?
3. Breaking up with someone, and then spending the next month updating your timeline with angry/sad music videos and typing out status's that are clearly aimed at that person. When confronted on your timeline you assure everyone that you are fine whilst sobbing uncontrollably infront of the computer screen. We can smell the tears through the wounders of optical fibre broadband internet, honest.
4. Checking in at a location, one that definitely isn't the place you told your friend you was at instead of their birthday party. If you're going to lie, and everyone has their reasons to not want to do something or another then make sure you don't get carried away and check in to that club with the 'other' friends that your real friends have seen comment all over your photos but have never actually met.
5. Liking videos or photos and not understanding that they then get posted across your timeline and every single friend on Facebook can now see that you tried to view a video titled 'Granny gets it hard and fast by her nephew' or the photo of a girl who was caught with her tits out in the fresh fruit aisle of ASDA. There are websites that won't publish your questionable taste in sexual aids, Facebook is the gossip of the internet.
A cynical look at the world
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