In writing this blog I am becoming one of the people that the lyrical genius that is Cher Lloyd takes great pride in slagging off the whole way through that musical disaster 'Swagger Jagger'. I'm a hater as she puts it, except I only hate her because of this song. I had no opinion either way before she released this horrible attack on all of my senses.
It's not that original to base a song around the negative attention you have received in the past, so don't smile too broadly thinking you have done something to blow us all away you smug twat. It's been done better as well, it has no real sound to it. I suppose that's not entirely true, it does sound like a truck load of utter prick.
Now see what this wonky faced scrotum face has made me do? She's made me get angry for no good reason over something I don't really give a fuck about. And I keep swearing to make a point, this is that crooked faced whores fault. Pardon my French.
The only reason I heard this song is because I read on the BBC NEWS website that it reached number one, I had to have myself a listen. After all the UK music lovers wouldn't blow their hard earned cash on total shit would they? Oh how wrong I've turnt out to be. I can't think of a song in recent memory that has made me feel so worthless, angry, upset and distraught all in one sitting.
The laughable thing is that it's not like she's an unlikeable person with a stunning voice, she's still an unlikeable cunt but with a voice of a long forgotten vocalist on 90's dance track. There's nothing special about her apart from that she stirs up the hidden rage in all of us. I can't put my finger on it, on the odd occasion I watched X Factor (Okay I watched it every week) I was rooting for her. I mean I wasn't rooting to the extent that I picked up the phone and voted for any one of those grainy voiced horrors on the screen but I sat there, nodded and said she's alright. How wrong I was, she has sailed into the number one postition on the basis that everyone hates her. I hate that she has managed it, I hate that I now can't put the radio on incase I hear this fuckery and I hate that people dislike me and yet I haven't made a penny out of it.
As the little fuckwit whines,
"You can't stop clickin 'bout me
Writin' 'bout me, tweeting 'bout me"
You're right. I've fallen into the pit of originality that you crawled out of you awful, awful person.
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