Joe Tribe, so far!

I'm not famous, nor do I crave fame. Not many people really care if I blog or not,not many people would notice if I vanished for a few months (maybe the cat would worry and call the cat Samaritans, who would tell her she has had one too many catnip shots and put the phone down on her)

But hey, why not fill you in on me...bit by bit (blog by blog)

MAY,1988 (exact date is not important unless you plan on buying me a card this year...just one measly card, that's all I ask!

Barking hospital, Joe Tribe is born alive and well. I'm not sure how much I weighed and nor do I know why anyone cares about a baby's weight. They should weigh baby's in animal terms, would make the whole thing a lot more interesting. Mrs Jones, your baby boy weighs 2 hungry moles and a weasel

So anyway I'm on the world, all breathing and making stupid noises with the mouth I had been blessed with. My mum and dad were not married so I was born a bastard, bodes well for later life!

So I think I did the being alive thing pretty well, managed to get through a few years...got the hang of not being in a womb. I really can't tell you much about my infant years as I was too busy enjoying life to start storing everything in my memory bank. You try and remember what you were doing between the ages of 1 and 5, it's just a blur of things your family tell you and you say 'Oh yea, I remember that' (like shit you do) it's also a blur of things you saw on telly at about 9years old and managed to trick yourself into thinking happened as a growing child. If you were to ask me where I spent weekends as a kid I would prob say on a magic roundabout that was run by a spring with a face and a rabbit on drugs....then you would reach over to the phone and get in touch with social services faster than a flower can run in the annual flower marathon. Erm anyway....

It's not that I spent too much time in front of the telly, its that the bits I remember have managed to tie their self into my actual real life I lead! Maybe that is too much telly then, who am I to say exactly how much is too much ;)

END OF PART ONE

So that's the baby chapter outta the way, you may be not be surprised to hear that the chapters soon to come are:

Being a toddler

Being 10

Being a teen

Being a teen, but being a teen that wasn't the same teen I was at 13..if you know what I mean?

Ending my teenage years

This blog that you just read with your rounded eyes that live inside your skull may alter over the coming days, photos will be added and more information will be put to words after I discuss with me mum the things I can't remember myself. I'll call it the Mummy's cut....which is a clever take on the DIRECTOR'S CUT and the fact I was circumcised by my mum when she came home late and full of alcohol (Tis a joke, me mum doesn't come home late)

Until next time...

x