Welcome to the public information blog as bought to you by JOE TRIBE, outside your front door the world is moving at a fast pace and I am here to help guide you through some everyday tasks.
CROSSING THE ROAD
With the amount of traffic on the streets it is fact that one in every other car is a total tosser and has only one thing on their mind...bloodlust! Traffic lights and zebra crossings mean nothing to these 'creatures'. There are a few simple steps to crossing the road without losing a great amount of blood or dignity:
Remember that everyone else will act as the barrier between you and the car, doubtful about crossing? Well get behind two or three people...chances are they will be sprawled across the road whilst you have time to get out of the way.
Don't cross half-arsed and draggin your heels, the car drivers sense your non-urgency to get around and can become very irrate. Expect the air to turn blue (and claret if you continue to take your time)
REMEMBER, do NOT curse or wave your arms in an aggresive manor back at the drivers. They have a machine at their feet and are NOT afraid to help you get up close and personal with the tarmac. If they honk their horn or show any sign of being angry then fucking run! They are lunatics!
Thank you for reading this volume on how to survive the outside world, next time we take a trip to the local supermarket and try to get out without having bought more than we went in for. THEY ARE EVIL, ignore the promotions!
A cynical look at the world
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