Supermarket sweep!

Welcome to another addition of 'TIPS FOR SURVIVING THE OUTSIDE WORLD'
Today we are to venture into the supermarket!

3 out of 5 times picking up a basket will result in more hassle than it should be, the baskets sit there linking together to cause you great embarrasment when you pick one up and the one stuck underneath falls to the floor, which in turn get's you noticed by security and everyone who is trying to get a basket as well. You are now a 'nuisance shopper' in the eyes of everyone trying to get around you!

Know what you want and get it, although this is hard when the stores splash products across the shopfloor meaning you pass by something you will want but not need on the way.

People have a habit of standing in the middle of the aisle and chatting about how life is treating them, expect groups of upto four people...normaly with a buggy and two trolleys. These people will not move for anyone, your basket is your weapon. Use it!

Asking for help is like dancing for rain, not worth the hassle and you are bound to be soaked if they respond (There will always be a spitty member of staff, must be equal ops)

You will always see a fat person debating with themselves whether they should buy that entire chocolate cake, knowing people will assume it is just for them. We do, enjoy the show!

If you are to use a self service till check for the following in the que:

Old people, Couple with trolley, Nervous looking bald bloke and woman chatting on mobile

DO NOT USE THE SELF SERVICE TILL if any of these are in front, they are the thorn in every other shopper's arse!

Carrier bags are the work of the devil, they are too fiddly and normaly end up with you rocking back and forth telling yourself next time someone else will do the shopping instead

The security will remember you as the 'basket case' and will expect the alarms to go off as you exit, and they will...you always walk out with someone who is trying to steal a shampoo or whatever the youth are after these days. Funny thing is you will walk on hoping they just leave you alone, you are innocent after all. This causes a chase, ending up with a bruise across the right cheek and shopping rolling into the road...well, might as well end this silly blog with something a little dramatic!